maaf, ya bu aku belum dapat bayar hutang aku. ” kata perempuan tua
itu mengiba, sebaliknya bunda di hadapannya menghela napas jengkel.
“kan bunda neneng janji bayar hutangnya sehabis resepsi perkawinan angga, ini sudah satu minggu lebih. ” bunda neneng terdiam, sekejap dia menutup matanya, terdapat luapan perasaan yang seakan mau dimuntahkannya.
“ternyata hasil kotak perkawinan anak aku hanya 8 juta bu. ” kata – katanya tertahan.
“saya begitu tidak melebih – lebihkan bu yuyun, begitu. ”
“hah? masa` sih bu… “ bunda yuyun terperangah.
“iya bu, aku seorang diri dan juga keluarga besan yang menghitung kotak itu sehabis kegiatan resepsi perkawinan ayu dan juga angga tuntas. ”
“hajatan bunda neneng kemarin itu elegan loh di gedung, makanannya enak – enak, sovenirnya aja selendang, belum lagi aku amati tamu – tamu yang tiba mayoritas orang berdasi. bisa jadi besan bunda main di balik bu neneng kali. ” kata bunda nyinyir.
“enggak bunda, aku yakin sama besan aku. saat sebelum aku berhutang bunda yuyun kan sudah aku ceritakan tentang kondisi aku, di mana aku dan juga anak aku wajib sediakan duit 100 juta buat kelancaran perkawinan anak aku. itu juga angga cuma sanggup membagikan 45 juta ditambah hutang aku ke bunda yuyun sebesar 15 juta rupiah. aku pula begitu tidak menyangka hendak jadi serupa ini belum lagi hutang – hutang kami yang yang lain. ”
“terus aku wajib gimana dong, bu neneng tentu hendak bayar kan? ”
“iya bu, aku tentu hendak membayarnya karna aku tidak ingin hutang itu membebani aku nantinya di hadapan allah. tetapi aku memohon waktu, sejujurnya bunda dapat amati seorang diri kondisi rumah aku sebagian perlengkapan elektronik aku serupa kulkas, televisi dan juga yang lain sudah tidak terdapat karna sudah dijual buat menutupi sebagian hutang. ”
dalil, seperti itu yang terjalin. di dikala ingar – bingar kegiatan acara perkawinan telah usai hingga yang tersisa kerap kali cumalah hutang.
dengan mengatasnamakan gengsi ataupun momen sekali seumur hidup hingga sudah jadi keharusan apabila suatu perkawinan –dalam tradisi kita – mayoritas terdapat acara ataupun hajatan.
sebaliknya sebagiannya lagi memaksakan walaupun dalam keterbatasan cuma buat penuhi tuntutan tergelarnya perkawinan yang katanya ‘diidam – idamkan’.
seseorang sahabat menuturkan kepada aku kalau sehabis pernikahannya hari – hari yang dilaluinya berbarengan suami tidaklah kebahagiaan yang paripurna, tidak serupa laiknya pendamping lain yang tenggelam dalam lautan cinta.
dia dan juga suami wajib berenang – renang di atas tumpukan hutang buat membiayai acara perkawinan yang terbilang elegan dikala itu.
terlebih lagi masa – masa susah itu wajib dilaluinya sepanjang 2 tahun lebih. dengan kerja keras dari keduanya, hingga hutang itu telah lunas. baru sehabis itu pendamping suami – istri itu juga dapat bernafas lega.
hendak jauh lebih bijak apabila kita tidak menyalahkan kedua pasutri itu yang ‘hanya’ buat suatu acara perkawinan aja hingga berani berhutang sampai hingga puluhan juta.
ini karna, perkawinan terjalin bukan cuma antar mereka berdua namun keluarga kedua belah pihak yang sepatutnya turut bertanggung jawab.
tentu kita kerap mendengar bahwasanya sering – kali buat merelakan anak gadisnya dipinang, terdapat orangtua ataupun banyak orang tua mewajibkan si calon buat sediakan duit dengan jumlah tertentu. sempatkah kamu hadapi perihal itu?
dikala itu sehabis acara perkawinan usai, kedua mempelai lekas turun dari pelaminan dan juga bergegas menanggalkan baju adat yang dikenakannya, meski terdapat sebagian tamu yang masih duduk – duduk santai di dekat aula, senantiasa tidak dihiraukannya jua.
hingga di suatu rubrik, sejoli pengantin itu langsung membuka kotak – kotak dan juga mengelurkan amplop di dalamnya.
hati mereka berdebar – debar bukan karna ketegangan malam pengantin tetapi karna hutang – hutang yang lekas wajib dilunasi serupa pengeluaran wardrobe dan riasan, catering (katering) , pelunasan sewa gedung dan juga pengeluaran
“kan bunda neneng janji bayar hutangnya sehabis resepsi perkawinan angga, ini sudah satu minggu lebih. ” bunda neneng terdiam, sekejap dia menutup matanya, terdapat luapan perasaan yang seakan mau dimuntahkannya.
“ternyata hasil kotak perkawinan anak aku hanya 8 juta bu. ” kata – katanya tertahan.
“saya begitu tidak melebih – lebihkan bu yuyun, begitu. ”
“hah? masa` sih bu… “ bunda yuyun terperangah.
“iya bu, aku seorang diri dan juga keluarga besan yang menghitung kotak itu sehabis kegiatan resepsi perkawinan ayu dan juga angga tuntas. ”
“hajatan bunda neneng kemarin itu elegan loh di gedung, makanannya enak – enak, sovenirnya aja selendang, belum lagi aku amati tamu – tamu yang tiba mayoritas orang berdasi. bisa jadi besan bunda main di balik bu neneng kali. ” kata bunda nyinyir.
“enggak bunda, aku yakin sama besan aku. saat sebelum aku berhutang bunda yuyun kan sudah aku ceritakan tentang kondisi aku, di mana aku dan juga anak aku wajib sediakan duit 100 juta buat kelancaran perkawinan anak aku. itu juga angga cuma sanggup membagikan 45 juta ditambah hutang aku ke bunda yuyun sebesar 15 juta rupiah. aku pula begitu tidak menyangka hendak jadi serupa ini belum lagi hutang – hutang kami yang yang lain. ”
“terus aku wajib gimana dong, bu neneng tentu hendak bayar kan? ”
“iya bu, aku tentu hendak membayarnya karna aku tidak ingin hutang itu membebani aku nantinya di hadapan allah. tetapi aku memohon waktu, sejujurnya bunda dapat amati seorang diri kondisi rumah aku sebagian perlengkapan elektronik aku serupa kulkas, televisi dan juga yang lain sudah tidak terdapat karna sudah dijual buat menutupi sebagian hutang. ”
dalil, seperti itu yang terjalin. di dikala ingar – bingar kegiatan acara perkawinan telah usai hingga yang tersisa kerap kali cumalah hutang.
dengan mengatasnamakan gengsi ataupun momen sekali seumur hidup hingga sudah jadi keharusan apabila suatu perkawinan –dalam tradisi kita – mayoritas terdapat acara ataupun hajatan.
sebaliknya sebagiannya lagi memaksakan walaupun dalam keterbatasan cuma buat penuhi tuntutan tergelarnya perkawinan yang katanya ‘diidam – idamkan’.
seseorang sahabat menuturkan kepada aku kalau sehabis pernikahannya hari – hari yang dilaluinya berbarengan suami tidaklah kebahagiaan yang paripurna, tidak serupa laiknya pendamping lain yang tenggelam dalam lautan cinta.
dia dan juga suami wajib berenang – renang di atas tumpukan hutang buat membiayai acara perkawinan yang terbilang elegan dikala itu.
terlebih lagi masa – masa susah itu wajib dilaluinya sepanjang 2 tahun lebih. dengan kerja keras dari keduanya, hingga hutang itu telah lunas. baru sehabis itu pendamping suami – istri itu juga dapat bernafas lega.
hendak jauh lebih bijak apabila kita tidak menyalahkan kedua pasutri itu yang ‘hanya’ buat suatu acara perkawinan aja hingga berani berhutang sampai hingga puluhan juta.
ini karna, perkawinan terjalin bukan cuma antar mereka berdua namun keluarga kedua belah pihak yang sepatutnya turut bertanggung jawab.
tentu kita kerap mendengar bahwasanya sering – kali buat merelakan anak gadisnya dipinang, terdapat orangtua ataupun banyak orang tua mewajibkan si calon buat sediakan duit dengan jumlah tertentu. sempatkah kamu hadapi perihal itu?
dikala itu sehabis acara perkawinan usai, kedua mempelai lekas turun dari pelaminan dan juga bergegas menanggalkan baju adat yang dikenakannya, meski terdapat sebagian tamu yang masih duduk – duduk santai di dekat aula, senantiasa tidak dihiraukannya jua.
hingga di suatu rubrik, sejoli pengantin itu langsung membuka kotak – kotak dan juga mengelurkan amplop di dalamnya.
hati mereka berdebar – debar bukan karna ketegangan malam pengantin tetapi karna hutang – hutang yang lekas wajib dilunasi serupa pengeluaran wardrobe dan riasan, catering (katering) , pelunasan sewa gedung dan juga pengeluaran
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yang lain.
mereka berdua amat sungguh – sungguh menghitung. sang perempuan bertugas membuka amplop – amplop sembari sesekali menggerutu dan juga mendengus jengkel karna amplop yang dibuka sebagian tidak berisi duit terlebih lagi diisi dengan permen dan juga gambar.
sebaliknya sang laki – laki terus berhitung dan juga merapikan lembar demi lembar duit yang pula terselip recehan ribuan.
mereka mengagungkan momen acara perkawinan dengan seindah bisa jadi, sesempurna terlebih lagi wajib setimpal dan juga persis dengan perkawinan yang diimpikan.
sejoli pengantin bak raja dan juga ratu di pelaminan meski cuma satu hari. apa itu salah? tiap kita mempunyai jawaban berubah. bila dia benar sanggup tidak terdapat salahnya.
tentu, itu berulang kepada hasrat tiap – tiap kita karna tiap orang cumalah memperoleh setimpal dengan apa yang ia niatkan. di sisi lain, pula tidak menyalahi syari`at.
pada dasarnya, kita menikah dengan bermacam tujuan serupa: mengindari zina, melindungi diri, melangsungkan sunnah dan juga lain sebagainya.
yang jelas tujuannya wajib karna allah swt dalam membentuk keluarga sakinah, mawaddah, warahmah (qs. ar – rum[30]: 21) dan juga melindungi itu seluruh supaya tidak terkotori oleh nilai – nilai gengsi, tuntutan style hidup, ria` hingga tidak melukai saudara – saudara kita yang tidak kunjung menikah karna terhalang pengeluaran, lalu hatinya teriris karna memandang perkawinan elegan nan meriah saudaranya. sudahkah kita bersih dari itu seluruh?
untuk mereka yang sanggup tidak terdapat yang susah buat itu seluruh; memakai wo ternama, gedung dengan pengeluaran sewa puluhan sampai ratus juta rupiah, terlebih lagi hingga acara perhelatan yang diselenggarakan bermalam – malam juga tidak terdapat permasalahan untuk mereka.
tetapi imbasnya amat mengena ke mereka – mereka yang mau menikah tetapi si calon mertua tidak mau anaknya dinikahi dengan acara ala kadarnya hingga jalur kesimpulannya bela – belain ngutang! balik lagi ke contoh permasalahan di atas dan juga masih banyak cerita yang lain yang lebih tidak manusiawi terjalin di warga kita.
lain lagi dengan mayoritas dari kita yang saat sebelum tiba ke hajatan ataupun acara teman terlebih dulu memandang catatan catatan ‘hutang’.
artinya: “sewaktu hajatan kita kemarin orang ini amplopin berapa? ” dan juga seperti itu yang hendak kita kembalikan setimpal dengan apa yang telah kita terima dan juga beberapa seperti itu yang kita kembalikan.
serupa seperti itu yang terjalin di warga kita, perkawinan ataupun hajatan yang lain merupakan wadah transaksi di mana terdapat yang wajib dibayar dan juga dipulangkan.
jadi, normal apabila kegiatan perkawinan acap kali menuntut hasil yang sesuai buat melunasi hutang yang digunakan bagaikan pengeluaran perkawinan.
apabila realitas yang diharapkan tidak setimpal, hingga cuma kekecewaan yang hendak menderanya. inilah yang jadi ironi di balik resepsi perkawinan sebagaimana cerita di atas.
biar tidak terjalin demikian, –sebagai penutup – kita butuh meneladani petunjuk islam dalam menghelat resepsi perkawinan.
kesatu, tidak boleh memaksakan diri bahwa benar tidak sanggup. yang jadi biang permasalahan mayoritas orang yakni kerap kali –atas nama gengsi – memaksakan diri menuruti kemauan individu, tanpa memandang keahlian diri.
dalam kitab syu`abu al – iman karya imam baihaqi menyebut riwayat salman:
لَا يَتَكَلَّفَنَّ أَحَدٌ لِلضَّيْفِ مَا لَا يَقْدِرُ عَلَيْهِ
intinya, kita dilarang memaksakan diri buat menjamu seorang dengan suatu yang tidak kita miliki, sampai – sampai malah menyusahkan diri.
permasalahan tadi bermula kala orang tua memforsir diri berhutang demi menyelenggarakan resepsi perkawinan. kesimpulannya, yang diraih malah kesulitan.
kedua, sebaiknya para orang tua memudahkan proses perkawinan anak, bukan malah mempersulitnya bila benar sudah sesuai dan juga bagus agamanya.
nabi seorang diri sempat menikahkah orang dengan cuma bermahar cincin besi, terlebih lagi terdapat yang bermahar sebagian hafalan ayat al – qur`an. ini berarti, nabi menyarankan buat memudahkan jalur perkawinan, setimpal dengan keahlian.
dalam al – qur
وَمَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَشُقَّ عَلَيْكَ [القصص: 27]
“maka saya tidak bakal memberati kalian. ” (qs. al – qoshoh [28]: 26). tetapi, ini seluruh bukan berarti, sangat menggampangkan perkawinan sampai – sampai ala kadarnya sementara itu sejatinya sanggup lebih dari itu, karna nabi seorang diri pula sempat mencontohkan berikan mahar layak dan juga pula menghelat “resepsi” perkawinan.
wallahu a`lam.
( sumber: islamkafah. com )
mereka berdua amat sungguh – sungguh menghitung. sang perempuan bertugas membuka amplop – amplop sembari sesekali menggerutu dan juga mendengus jengkel karna amplop yang dibuka sebagian tidak berisi duit terlebih lagi diisi dengan permen dan juga gambar.
sebaliknya sang laki – laki terus berhitung dan juga merapikan lembar demi lembar duit yang pula terselip recehan ribuan.
mereka mengagungkan momen acara perkawinan dengan seindah bisa jadi, sesempurna terlebih lagi wajib setimpal dan juga persis dengan perkawinan yang diimpikan.
sejoli pengantin bak raja dan juga ratu di pelaminan meski cuma satu hari. apa itu salah? tiap kita mempunyai jawaban berubah. bila dia benar sanggup tidak terdapat salahnya.
tentu, itu berulang kepada hasrat tiap – tiap kita karna tiap orang cumalah memperoleh setimpal dengan apa yang ia niatkan. di sisi lain, pula tidak menyalahi syari`at.
pada dasarnya, kita menikah dengan bermacam tujuan serupa: mengindari zina, melindungi diri, melangsungkan sunnah dan juga lain sebagainya.
yang jelas tujuannya wajib karna allah swt dalam membentuk keluarga sakinah, mawaddah, warahmah (qs. ar – rum[30]: 21) dan juga melindungi itu seluruh supaya tidak terkotori oleh nilai – nilai gengsi, tuntutan style hidup, ria` hingga tidak melukai saudara – saudara kita yang tidak kunjung menikah karna terhalang pengeluaran, lalu hatinya teriris karna memandang perkawinan elegan nan meriah saudaranya. sudahkah kita bersih dari itu seluruh?
untuk mereka yang sanggup tidak terdapat yang susah buat itu seluruh; memakai wo ternama, gedung dengan pengeluaran sewa puluhan sampai ratus juta rupiah, terlebih lagi hingga acara perhelatan yang diselenggarakan bermalam – malam juga tidak terdapat permasalahan untuk mereka.
tetapi imbasnya amat mengena ke mereka – mereka yang mau menikah tetapi si calon mertua tidak mau anaknya dinikahi dengan acara ala kadarnya hingga jalur kesimpulannya bela – belain ngutang! balik lagi ke contoh permasalahan di atas dan juga masih banyak cerita yang lain yang lebih tidak manusiawi terjalin di warga kita.
lain lagi dengan mayoritas dari kita yang saat sebelum tiba ke hajatan ataupun acara teman terlebih dulu memandang catatan catatan ‘hutang’.
artinya: “sewaktu hajatan kita kemarin orang ini amplopin berapa? ” dan juga seperti itu yang hendak kita kembalikan setimpal dengan apa yang telah kita terima dan juga beberapa seperti itu yang kita kembalikan.
serupa seperti itu yang terjalin di warga kita, perkawinan ataupun hajatan yang lain merupakan wadah transaksi di mana terdapat yang wajib dibayar dan juga dipulangkan.
jadi, normal apabila kegiatan perkawinan acap kali menuntut hasil yang sesuai buat melunasi hutang yang digunakan bagaikan pengeluaran perkawinan.
apabila realitas yang diharapkan tidak setimpal, hingga cuma kekecewaan yang hendak menderanya. inilah yang jadi ironi di balik resepsi perkawinan sebagaimana cerita di atas.
biar tidak terjalin demikian, –sebagai penutup – kita butuh meneladani petunjuk islam dalam menghelat resepsi perkawinan.
kesatu, tidak boleh memaksakan diri bahwa benar tidak sanggup. yang jadi biang permasalahan mayoritas orang yakni kerap kali –atas nama gengsi – memaksakan diri menuruti kemauan individu, tanpa memandang keahlian diri.
dalam kitab syu`abu al – iman karya imam baihaqi menyebut riwayat salman:
لَا يَتَكَلَّفَنَّ أَحَدٌ لِلضَّيْفِ مَا لَا يَقْدِرُ عَلَيْهِ
intinya, kita dilarang memaksakan diri buat menjamu seorang dengan suatu yang tidak kita miliki, sampai – sampai malah menyusahkan diri.
permasalahan tadi bermula kala orang tua memforsir diri berhutang demi menyelenggarakan resepsi perkawinan. kesimpulannya, yang diraih malah kesulitan.
kedua, sebaiknya para orang tua memudahkan proses perkawinan anak, bukan malah mempersulitnya bila benar sudah sesuai dan juga bagus agamanya.
nabi seorang diri sempat menikahkah orang dengan cuma bermahar cincin besi, terlebih lagi terdapat yang bermahar sebagian hafalan ayat al – qur`an. ini berarti, nabi menyarankan buat memudahkan jalur perkawinan, setimpal dengan keahlian.
dalam al – qur
an juga, kita dapat memandang gimana nabi syuaib tidak ingin mempersulit nabi musa kala bakal menikahkannya dengan putrinya:وَمَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَشُقَّ عَلَيْكَ [القصص: 27]
“maka saya tidak bakal memberati kalian. ” (qs. al – qoshoh [28]: 26). tetapi, ini seluruh bukan berarti, sangat menggampangkan perkawinan sampai – sampai ala kadarnya sementara itu sejatinya sanggup lebih dari itu, karna nabi seorang diri pula sempat mencontohkan berikan mahar layak dan juga pula menghelat “resepsi” perkawinan.
wallahu a`lam.
( sumber: islamkafah. com )
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