Di dekat tempat tinggal aku ada sepasang suami istri yg telah berusia 60 tahun. Saya seringkali bertemu mereka waktu jogging pada malam hari. Tetapi aku merasa ada yg aneh ketika melihat mobilitas gerik mereka. Sang suami selalu berlari duluan di depan, sembari meninggalkan nenek yg berlari pelan di belakangnya. Saya pula acapkali melihat kakek berbalik dan teriak meminta nenek berlari lebih cepat.
Berapa banyak pasangan yg tidak memiliki komunikasi baik, tetapi tetap bersatu pada pernikahan?
Pernikahan bukanlah sebuah cangkang yg saat dibuka nir isinya.
Suatu malam aku melihat nenek terjatuh dan kakinya terluka. Nenek ingin memanggil kakek buat berhenti, tetapi kakek tidak mendengarnya sama sekali. Bahkan kakek melangkah lebih jauh dan semakin jauh.
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Saya pun mendekati nenek & membantu nenek berdiri. Dan aku melihat air mata nenek membasahi pipinya. Pemandangan seperti ini menciptakan hatiku sangat murung .
Pada kenyataanya, cara berkomunikasi seperti ini acapkali terjadi di dalam pernikahan. Kurangnya komunikasi antara suami & istri, malah menciptakan sungai pemisah diantara keduanya. Pernikahan itu bukan ibarat perlombaan lari, siapa yang lebih dahulu mencapai garis finish dia yg menang. Melainkan siapa yg sanggup bekerjasama menggunakan baik, dialah pemenang sesungguhnya!
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Paling takut jika bertemu pasangan yang ‘buta, tuli, bisu’
Nona A yang terbaru bercerai dengan suaminya. Ia juga dipecat oleh atasannya karena sejak pernikahannya berantakan, beliau sering datang terlambat dan mudah lelah.
Ia pun tiba ke rumah mantan suaminya dan meminta pertanggung jawaban.
“itu semua kan karena salahmu, kolot!” bentak suaminya
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Nona A pun pulang, menyeka air matanya sambil memotong sayur. Hatinya berubah dingin lantaran beliau sudah kehilangan kerjaannya & juga kehilangan kata-kata cantik menurut mantan suaminya.
Pada sebuah kesempatan, Nona A & mantan suaminya bertemu pulang. Ketika mereka pulang, sahabat lainnya duduk bersama pasangannya masing-masing. Malam itu semua orang tertawa canda beserta, kecuali Nona A & mantan suaminya. Mantan suaminya berusaha mengabaikan Nona A dengan cara main game.
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Namun karena merasa canggung & kesepian, akhirnya Nona A mengatakan:
“Lihat, betapa serunya suasana malam ini, kenapa menurut dulu kamu nir bisa berhenti main game? Tidak bisakah kau berhenti & berbicara denganku sebentar?”
Dengan muka dingin, mantan suaminya mengungkapkan “seluruh di sini adalah perempuan tua, apa yg menarik? Aku nir mau munafik!”
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Dalam posisi inilah mantan suami Nona A mengalami ‘buta, tuli, bisu’ Ketika keadaan telah berubah jadi dingin, seorang tidak sanggup mencicipi kehangatan cinta lagi. Semua terlihat abu-abu, terdengar sepi, dan terasa tidak sama.
Hati bukanlah pendengaran yang bisa mendengar kebutuhan pasanganmu
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Kita pasti sering mendengar curhatan teman yang mengatakan “saya senang gak ngerti apa maunya dia!”
Tetapi saat kau mendengar curhatan misalnya itu, lebih baik kau diam dan jangan meresponi apa-apa padanya..
Dia merasa dirinya tidak berdaya
Dia merasa depresi & menemukan jalan buntu
Dia merasa hayati beserta orang asing yg tidak pernah sanggup beliau taklukan
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Biarkan dia sadar bahwa ia hidup bersama pasangan yang kolot selama ini.
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semakin tua.
Apabila kita berlaku asing, kasar, dan sebagai orang yang sulit dimengerti pasanganmu
Pada akhirnya, orang terdekatmu akan sebagai orang paling asing untukmu.
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Oleh karena itu, yang diharapkan adalah sebuah komunikasi. Pasanganmu bukanlah Tuhan yang mampu menebak apa mau isi hatimu. Ungkapkanlah dan ekspresikanlah, supaya komunikasi diantara kalian terjalan menggunakan baik.
Pernikahan membutuhkan makanan ‘spiritual’
Sebagian laki-laki sudah menghabiskan poly tenaga & emosi ketika di luar tempat tinggal .
Mereka bekerja, bertukar wawasan, berteman.
Pada saat mereka datang pada rumah, semua metode komunikasi mereka akan ‘habis’
Mereka akan sebagai makhluk hayati yg pasif, lemas, dan bodoh.
Sedangkan wanita akan cenderung protes apa yang nir dia dengar, apa yg nir beliau lihat dalam suaminya.
Di titik ini pasangan harus saling pengertian.
Pria membutuhkan kuliner spiritual buat permanen bercanda tawa dengan komunikasi
Wanita pula membutuhkan kesabaran buat permanen menghibur para laki-laki yg kelelahan bekerja.
Ketika seorang wanita bertanya “bagus gak gunakan baju ini?
Seorang wanita tak jarang bertanya pada suami “Bagus gak saya pakai baju ini?”
Di sini wanita sebenarnya tidak meminta saran, tapi hanya ingin dipuji.
Tapi bagi pria , ia adalah makhluk yg kritis dan logis
“Kayanya engkau lebih cocok gunakan rok yg lebih panjang lagi deh!”
Ketika seseorang perempuan mengatakan “hari ini kerjaan aku lelah banget”
Sebenarnya posisi ini perempuan ingin dimanja & diberikan kenyamanan.
“Ya, engkau telah bekerja sebaik mungkin! Sini saya peluk”
Tapi jangan sekali-kali pria malah berkata “engkau juga lelah kok kerja, kita seluruh sama-sama lelah kali!”
Pernikahan itu bukanlah air dan minyak yg sulit bersatu,
Melainkan air & garam yang sanggup larut dan menyatu.
Ketika hayati membutuhkan gairah, pernikahan pun membutuhkan gairah!
Pernikahan itu wajib memiliki rasa.
Sama misalnya wanita yg membutuhkan cinta, komunikasi, dan emosional yg mendalam.
Jika perempuan nir terpuaskan, maka wanita akan sangat terganggu.
Pria selalu mengeluh mengenai wanita
“Kenapa sih wanita semakin dicintai, semakin mengeluh?”
Itu semua karena pria tidak pernah menyadari apa yang diperlukan perempuan .
Kehadiran, kehangatan, kesabaran, komunikasi akan selalu sebagai nilai terpenting bagi perempuan
Pernikahan itu ibarat ombak pada laut, bisa pasang dan mampu surut
Di bawah bundar setan, sebuah pernikahan bisa menemukan jalan buntu.
Oleh sebab itu, yang diharapkan merupakan kesatuan & kegigihan.
Lantaran dua orang lebih baik dari satu orang,
Jadi teruslah berjuang menghadapi ombak kehidupan pernikahanmu.
Pembunuh terbesar pernikahan bukanlah saat, bukan orang ketiga. Melainkan nir adanya ikatan emosional diantara keduanya
Banyak sekali kita melihat kegagalan pada tempat tinggal tangga.
Masalahnya, bukan galat waktu kita mengkonsumsi cinta,
Tapi keliru ketika kita menghamburkan cinta.
Ikatan emosional yg bertenaga pada antara pasangan mampu menciptakan hubungan cinta menjadi lebih erat dan langgeng.
Hubungan jangka panjang mampu menciptakan engkau lebih bertenaga,
Harus selalu menjaga dan memuaskan cita-cita satu sama lain.
Setiap liputan yg keluar dari pasanganmu, harus mampu diterima & ditanggapi dengan positif.
Pasangan adalah patner hidupmu, dia teman terbaik, ia segalanya untukmu.
Oleh sebab itu, fokuskan dalam persatuan hati dan pikiran.
Pernikahan yang berkualitas, tahu bagaimana memberi kepuasan satu sama lain.
Ketika kamu berhasil, beliau akan tepuk tangan
Ketika kamu depresi, beliau akan memberikan kenyamanan
Ketika kamu memalukan, dia akan mendukungmu
Ketika engkau sendirian, dia akan memberi persahabatan
Pernikahan seperti ini akan bahagia dan bertahan usang
Apabila kita berlaku asing, kasar, dan sebagai orang yang sulit dimengerti pasanganmu
Pada akhirnya, orang terdekatmu akan sebagai orang paling asing untukmu.
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Oleh karena itu, yang diharapkan adalah sebuah komunikasi. Pasanganmu bukanlah Tuhan yang mampu menebak apa mau isi hatimu. Ungkapkanlah dan ekspresikanlah, supaya komunikasi diantara kalian terjalan menggunakan baik.
Pernikahan membutuhkan makanan ‘spiritual’
Sebagian laki-laki sudah menghabiskan poly tenaga & emosi ketika di luar tempat tinggal .
Mereka bekerja, bertukar wawasan, berteman.
Pada saat mereka datang pada rumah, semua metode komunikasi mereka akan ‘habis’
Mereka akan sebagai makhluk hayati yg pasif, lemas, dan bodoh.
Sedangkan wanita akan cenderung protes apa yang nir dia dengar, apa yg nir beliau lihat dalam suaminya.
Di titik ini pasangan harus saling pengertian.
Pria membutuhkan kuliner spiritual buat permanen bercanda tawa dengan komunikasi
Wanita pula membutuhkan kesabaran buat permanen menghibur para laki-laki yg kelelahan bekerja.
Ketika seorang wanita bertanya “bagus gak gunakan baju ini?
Seorang wanita tak jarang bertanya pada suami “Bagus gak saya pakai baju ini?”
Di sini wanita sebenarnya tidak meminta saran, tapi hanya ingin dipuji.
Tapi bagi pria , ia adalah makhluk yg kritis dan logis
“Kayanya engkau lebih cocok gunakan rok yg lebih panjang lagi deh!”
Ketika seseorang perempuan mengatakan “hari ini kerjaan aku lelah banget”
Sebenarnya posisi ini perempuan ingin dimanja & diberikan kenyamanan.
“Ya, engkau telah bekerja sebaik mungkin! Sini saya peluk”
Tapi jangan sekali-kali pria malah berkata “engkau juga lelah kok kerja, kita seluruh sama-sama lelah kali!”
Pernikahan itu bukanlah air dan minyak yg sulit bersatu,
Melainkan air & garam yang sanggup larut dan menyatu.
Ketika hayati membutuhkan gairah, pernikahan pun membutuhkan gairah!
Pernikahan itu wajib memiliki rasa.
Sama misalnya wanita yg membutuhkan cinta, komunikasi, dan emosional yg mendalam.
Jika perempuan nir terpuaskan, maka wanita akan sangat terganggu.
Pria selalu mengeluh mengenai wanita
“Kenapa sih wanita semakin dicintai, semakin mengeluh?”
Itu semua karena pria tidak pernah menyadari apa yang diperlukan perempuan .
Kehadiran, kehangatan, kesabaran, komunikasi akan selalu sebagai nilai terpenting bagi perempuan
Pernikahan itu ibarat ombak pada laut, bisa pasang dan mampu surut
Di bawah bundar setan, sebuah pernikahan bisa menemukan jalan buntu.
Oleh sebab itu, yang diharapkan merupakan kesatuan & kegigihan.
Lantaran dua orang lebih baik dari satu orang,
Jadi teruslah berjuang menghadapi ombak kehidupan pernikahanmu.
Pembunuh terbesar pernikahan bukanlah saat, bukan orang ketiga. Melainkan nir adanya ikatan emosional diantara keduanya
Banyak sekali kita melihat kegagalan pada tempat tinggal tangga.
Masalahnya, bukan galat waktu kita mengkonsumsi cinta,
Tapi keliru ketika kita menghamburkan cinta.
Ikatan emosional yg bertenaga pada antara pasangan mampu menciptakan hubungan cinta menjadi lebih erat dan langgeng.
Hubungan jangka panjang mampu menciptakan engkau lebih bertenaga,
Harus selalu menjaga dan memuaskan cita-cita satu sama lain.
Setiap liputan yg keluar dari pasanganmu, harus mampu diterima & ditanggapi dengan positif.
Pasangan adalah patner hidupmu, dia teman terbaik, ia segalanya untukmu.
Oleh sebab itu, fokuskan dalam persatuan hati dan pikiran.
Pernikahan yang berkualitas, tahu bagaimana memberi kepuasan satu sama lain.
Ketika kamu berhasil, beliau akan tepuk tangan
Ketika kamu depresi, beliau akan memberikan kenyamanan
Ketika kamu memalukan, dia akan mendukungmu
Ketika engkau sendirian, dia akan memberi persahabatan
Pernikahan seperti ini akan bahagia dan bertahan usang
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