Membangun keluarga sakinah merupakan dambaan kita seluruh. Dasarnya merupakan masing-masing anggota famili tersebut harus bertaqwa.
Salah satu manifestasi taqwa merupakan berbuat baik pada orang tua (birrul walidain). Perlu disadari, bahwa pernikahan itu bukan hanya ikatan dua orang anak manusia, tetapi mengikat 2 famili besar .
Jadi pernikahan itu adalah selebaran agung menciptakan ukhuwah yg luas yg dasarnya saling kenal (perkenalan), saling tahu (tafahum), dan saling menolong (tafakul) antara suami-istri, keluarga suami & keluarga istri.
Bila masing-masing pihak ridha, maka nilai pernikahan yang sakinah dan diridhai orang tua akan terwujud.
Sebelum menikah, seseorang anak, baik laki-laki maupun wanita memiliki kewajiban yang akbar pada kedua orang tuanya, terutama pada ibundanya.
Bila seorang anak pria yg sudah menikah, maka kewajiban berbakti pada mak ini tidak hilang, jadi suami adalah hak ibunda.
Bagaimana menggunakan anak wanita yg telah menikah? Nah, bagi anak perempuan yg telah menikah, maka haknya suami.
Jadi istri berkewajiban berbakti dalam suami. Lantaran sehabis Ijab kabul, berpindahlah hak & kewajiban seorang ayah kepada suami dari anak wanitanya.
Begitu besar kewajiban berbakti pada suami, sampai rasul pernah bersabda,
“Jika boleh sesama manusia mengabdi (menyembah), maka aku akan menyuruh seseorang istri mengabdi pada suaminya.”
Dari Abu Hurairah r.A. Mengungkapkan: Ada seseorang yang datang menghadap Rasulullah dan bertanya, “Ya Rasulallah, siapakah orang yang lebih berhak dengan kebaikanku?”
Jawab Rasulullah, “Ibumu.”
Ia bertanya lagi, “Lalu siapa?”
Jawabnya, “Ibumu.”
Ia bertanya lagi, “Lalu siapa?”
Jawabnya, “Ibumu.”
Ia bertanya lagi, “Lalu siapa?”
Jawabnya, “Ayahmu.” (Bukhari, Muslim, & Ibnu Majah)
Ada seorang yang tiba, disebutkan namanya Muawiyah bin Haydah r.A., bertanya: “Ya Rasulallah, siapakah orang yg lebih berhak menggunakan kebaikanku?”
Jawab Rasulullah saw: “Ibumu.” Dengan diulang 3 kali pertanyaan & jawaban ini.
Pengulangan istilah “mak ” sampai tiga kali menerangkan bahwa mak lebih berhak atas anaknya menggunakan bagian yg lebih lengkap, seperti al-bir (kebajikan), ihsan (pelayanan). Ibnu Al-Baththal mengungkapkan:
“Bahwa ibu memiliki tiga kali hak lebih poly daripada ayahnya. Karena istilah ‘ayah’ dalam hadits disebutkan sekali sedangkan kata ‘ibu’ diulang sampai tiga kali
. Hal ini mampu dipahami dari kerepotan saat
Salah satu manifestasi taqwa merupakan berbuat baik pada orang tua (birrul walidain). Perlu disadari, bahwa pernikahan itu bukan hanya ikatan dua orang anak manusia, tetapi mengikat 2 famili besar .
Jadi pernikahan itu adalah selebaran agung menciptakan ukhuwah yg luas yg dasarnya saling kenal (perkenalan), saling tahu (tafahum), dan saling menolong (tafakul) antara suami-istri, keluarga suami & keluarga istri.
Bila masing-masing pihak ridha, maka nilai pernikahan yang sakinah dan diridhai orang tua akan terwujud.
Sebelum menikah, seseorang anak, baik laki-laki maupun wanita memiliki kewajiban yang akbar pada kedua orang tuanya, terutama pada ibundanya.
Bila seorang anak pria yg sudah menikah, maka kewajiban berbakti pada mak ini tidak hilang, jadi suami adalah hak ibunda.
Bagaimana menggunakan anak wanita yg telah menikah? Nah, bagi anak perempuan yg telah menikah, maka haknya suami.
Jadi istri berkewajiban berbakti dalam suami. Lantaran sehabis Ijab kabul, berpindahlah hak & kewajiban seorang ayah kepada suami dari anak wanitanya.
Begitu besar kewajiban berbakti pada suami, sampai rasul pernah bersabda,
“Jika boleh sesama manusia mengabdi (menyembah), maka aku akan menyuruh seseorang istri mengabdi pada suaminya.”
Dari Abu Hurairah r.A. Mengungkapkan: Ada seseorang yang datang menghadap Rasulullah dan bertanya, “Ya Rasulallah, siapakah orang yang lebih berhak dengan kebaikanku?”
Jawab Rasulullah, “Ibumu.”
Ia bertanya lagi, “Lalu siapa?”
Jawabnya, “Ibumu.”
Ia bertanya lagi, “Lalu siapa?”
Jawabnya, “Ibumu.”
Ia bertanya lagi, “Lalu siapa?”
Jawabnya, “Ayahmu.” (Bukhari, Muslim, & Ibnu Majah)
Ada seorang yang tiba, disebutkan namanya Muawiyah bin Haydah r.A., bertanya: “Ya Rasulallah, siapakah orang yg lebih berhak menggunakan kebaikanku?”
Jawab Rasulullah saw: “Ibumu.” Dengan diulang 3 kali pertanyaan & jawaban ini.
Pengulangan istilah “mak ” sampai tiga kali menerangkan bahwa mak lebih berhak atas anaknya menggunakan bagian yg lebih lengkap, seperti al-bir (kebajikan), ihsan (pelayanan). Ibnu Al-Baththal mengungkapkan:
“Bahwa ibu memiliki tiga kali hak lebih poly daripada ayahnya. Karena istilah ‘ayah’ dalam hadits disebutkan sekali sedangkan kata ‘ibu’ diulang sampai tiga kali
. Hal ini mampu dipahami dari kerepotan saat
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hamil, melahirkan, menyusui.
Tiga hal ini hanya bisa dikerjakan sang mak , dengan aneka macam penderitaannya, lalu ayah menyertainya dalam tarbiyah, pembinaan, & pengasuhan.
Hal itu diisyaratkan jua dalam firman Allah swt.,
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“Dan kami perintahkan kepada insan (berbuat baik) kepada 2 orang mak - bapaknya; ibunya telah mengandungnya pada keadaan lemah yg bertambah- tambah, & menyapihnya pada 2 tahun –selambat-lambat waktu menyapih artinya sehabis anak berumur dua tahun–, bersyukurlah kepadaKu dan kepada dua orang bunda bapakmu, hanya pada-Kulah kembalimu.(QS. Luqman: 14)
Allah swt. Menyamakan keduanya dalam berwasiat, namun mengkhususkan ibu dengan tiga hal yang telah disebutkan di atas.
Imam Ahmad dan Bukhari meriwayatkan pada Al-Adabul Mufrad, demikian jua Ibnu Majah, Al Hakim, dan menshahihkannya berdasarkan Al-Miqdam bin Ma’pada Kariba, bahwa Rasulullah saw. Bersabda:
“Sesunguhnya Allah swt. Sudah berwasiat pada kalian mengenai mak kalian, kemudian berwasiat tentang bunda kalian, lalu berwasiat mengenai bunda kalian, kemudian berwasiat mengenai ayah kalian, lalu berwasiat tentang kerabat menurut yg terdekat.”
Hal ini memberikan kesan buat memprioritaskan kerabat yg didekatkan berdasarkan sisi ke 2 orang tua daripada yang didekatkan menggunakan satu sisi saja.
Memprioritaskan kerabat yg terdapat interaksi mahram daripada yg tidak ada hubungan mahram, lalu interaksi pernikahan.
Ibnu Baththal menunjukkan bahwa urutan itu tidak memungkinkan menaruh kebaikan sekaligus pada keseluruhan kerabat.
Dari hadits ini bisa diambil pelajaran mengenai bunda yg lebih diprioritaskan dalam berbuat kebaikan dari pada ayah.
Hal ini dikuatkan sang hadits Imam Ahmad, An-Nasa’i, Al-Hakim yg menshahihkannya, berdasarkan Aisyah r.A. Mengungkapkan:
“Aku bertanya pada Nabi Muhammad saw., siapakah insan yang paling berhak atas seorang wanita?” Jawabnya, “Suaminya.” “Kalau atas pria?” Jawabnya, “Ibunya.”
Demikian juga yang diriwayatkan Al-Hakim & Abu Daud menurut Amr bin Syuaib berdasarkan ayahnya berdasarkan kakeknya, bahwa terdapat seorang wanita yg bertanya:
“Ya Rasulallah, sesungguhnya anak laki-lakiku ini, perutku pernah menjadi tempatnya, air susuku pernah sebagai minumannya, pangkuanku pernah sebagai pelipurnya.
Dan sesungguhnya ayahnya menceraikanku, & hendak mencabutnya dariku.” Rasulullah saw. Bersabda, “Kamu lebih berhak daripada ayahnya, selama kamu belum menikah.”
Maksudnya menikah menggunakan lelaki lain, bukan ayahnya, maka perempuan itu yang meneruskan pengasuhannya, karena ialah yang lebih spesifik menggunakan anaknya, lebih berhak baginya lantaran kekhususannya saat hamil, m3l4hirkan & menyu*su1.
Tiga hal ini hanya bisa dikerjakan sang mak , dengan aneka macam penderitaannya, lalu ayah menyertainya dalam tarbiyah, pembinaan, & pengasuhan.
Hal itu diisyaratkan jua dalam firman Allah swt.,
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ
“Dan kami perintahkan kepada insan (berbuat baik) kepada 2 orang mak - bapaknya; ibunya telah mengandungnya pada keadaan lemah yg bertambah- tambah, & menyapihnya pada 2 tahun –selambat-lambat waktu menyapih artinya sehabis anak berumur dua tahun–, bersyukurlah kepadaKu dan kepada dua orang bunda bapakmu, hanya pada-Kulah kembalimu.(QS. Luqman: 14)
Allah swt. Menyamakan keduanya dalam berwasiat, namun mengkhususkan ibu dengan tiga hal yang telah disebutkan di atas.
Imam Ahmad dan Bukhari meriwayatkan pada Al-Adabul Mufrad, demikian jua Ibnu Majah, Al Hakim, dan menshahihkannya berdasarkan Al-Miqdam bin Ma’pada Kariba, bahwa Rasulullah saw. Bersabda:
“Sesunguhnya Allah swt. Sudah berwasiat pada kalian mengenai mak kalian, kemudian berwasiat tentang bunda kalian, lalu berwasiat mengenai bunda kalian, kemudian berwasiat mengenai ayah kalian, lalu berwasiat tentang kerabat menurut yg terdekat.”
Hal ini memberikan kesan buat memprioritaskan kerabat yg didekatkan berdasarkan sisi ke 2 orang tua daripada yang didekatkan menggunakan satu sisi saja.
Memprioritaskan kerabat yg terdapat interaksi mahram daripada yg tidak ada hubungan mahram, lalu interaksi pernikahan.
Ibnu Baththal menunjukkan bahwa urutan itu tidak memungkinkan menaruh kebaikan sekaligus pada keseluruhan kerabat.
Dari hadits ini bisa diambil pelajaran mengenai bunda yg lebih diprioritaskan dalam berbuat kebaikan dari pada ayah.
Hal ini dikuatkan sang hadits Imam Ahmad, An-Nasa’i, Al-Hakim yg menshahihkannya, berdasarkan Aisyah r.A. Mengungkapkan:
“Aku bertanya pada Nabi Muhammad saw., siapakah insan yang paling berhak atas seorang wanita?” Jawabnya, “Suaminya.” “Kalau atas pria?” Jawabnya, “Ibunya.”
Demikian juga yang diriwayatkan Al-Hakim & Abu Daud menurut Amr bin Syuaib berdasarkan ayahnya berdasarkan kakeknya, bahwa terdapat seorang wanita yg bertanya:
“Ya Rasulallah, sesungguhnya anak laki-lakiku ini, perutku pernah menjadi tempatnya, air susuku pernah sebagai minumannya, pangkuanku pernah sebagai pelipurnya.
Dan sesungguhnya ayahnya menceraikanku, & hendak mencabutnya dariku.” Rasulullah saw. Bersabda, “Kamu lebih berhak daripada ayahnya, selama kamu belum menikah.”
Maksudnya menikah menggunakan lelaki lain, bukan ayahnya, maka perempuan itu yang meneruskan pengasuhannya, karena ialah yang lebih spesifik menggunakan anaknya, lebih berhak baginya lantaran kekhususannya saat hamil, m3l4hirkan & menyu*su1.
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