“Kan ibu Neneng janji bayar hutangnya setelah resepsi pernikahan Angga, ini telah seminggu lebih.” Ibu Neneng terdiam, sekejap beliau menutup matanya, terdapat luapan perasaan yg seolah ingin dimuntahkannya.
“Ternyata hasil kotak pernikahan anak saya cuma 8 juta bu.” kata-pungkasnya tertahan.
“Saya sungguh tidak melebih-lebihkan bu Yuyun, sungguh.”
“HAH? Masa` sih bu… “ Ibu Yuyun terperangah.
“Iya bu, aku sendiri dan famili besan yg menghitung kotak itu selesainya program resepsi pernikahan Ayu dan Angga selesai.”
“Hajatan Ibu Neneng kemarin itu glamor loh pada gedung, makanannya lezat -lezat , sovenirnya saja selendang, belum lagi saya lihat tamu-tamu yang tiba kebanyakan orang berdasi. Mungkin besan bunda main di belakang Bu Neneng kali.” Kata Ibu nyinyir.
“Enggak Ibu, aku percaya sama besan aku . Sebelum aku berhutang bunda Yuyun kan telah saya ceritakan tentang keadaan saya, di mana aku & anak saya harus menyediakan uang 100 juta buat kelancaran pernikahan anak aku . Itu pun Angga hanya bisa menaruh 45 juta ditambah hutang aku ke Ibu Yuyun sebanyak 15 juta rupiah. Saya jua sungguh tidak menyangka akan jadi seperti ini belum lagi hutang-hutang kami yg lainnya.”
“Terus saya wajib gimana dong, bu Neneng niscaya akan bayar kan?”
“Iya bu, saya niscaya akan membayarnya karena aku tidak mau hutang itu membebani saya nantinya pada hadapan Allah. Tapi aku minta ketika, sejujurnya mak sanggup lihat sendiri keadaan rumah saya beberapa indera elektronik saya misalnya kulkas, Tv dan lainnya sudah nir ada karena sudah dijual buat menutupi sebagian hutang.”
***
Fakta, itulah yang terjadi. Di saat ingar-bingar program pesta pernikahan sudah usai maka yg tersisa acapkali kali hanyalah hutang.
Dengan mengatasnamakan gengsi atau momen sekali seumur hidup maka telah sebagai keharusan apabila sebuah pernikahan –pada tradisi kita- kebanyakan terdapat pesta atau hajatan.
Sedangkan sebagiannya lagi memaksakan walau pada keterbatasan hanya buat memenuhi tuntutan tergelarnya pernikahan yg ucapnya ‘diidam-idamkan’.
Seorang teman menuturkan kepada saya bahwa sesudah pernikahannya hari-hari yang dilaluinya beserta suami bukanlah kebahagiaan yang sempurna, tak misalnya laiknya pasangan lain yang karam pada samudera cinta.
Ia & suami harus berenang-renang pada atas tumpukan hutang buat membiayai pesta pernikahan yg terbilang mewah ketika itu.
Bahkan masa-masa sulit itu harus dilaluinya selama dua tahun lebih. Dengan kerja keras berdasarkan keduanya, maka hutang itu telah lunas. Baru selesainya itu pasangan suami-istri itu pun mampu bernafas lega.
Akan jauh lebih bijak jika kita tidak menyalahkan ke 2 PASUTRI itu yang ‘hanya’ buat sebuah pesta pernikahan saja sampai berani berhutang hingga hingga puluhan juta.
Ini lantaran, pernikahan terjadi bukan hanya antar mereka berdua tetapi keluarga kedua belah pihak yang seharusnya ikut bertanggung jawab.
Tentu kita seringkali mendengar bahwasanya terkadang untuk merelakan anak gadisnya dipinang, ada orangtua atau poly orang tua mengharuskan oleh calon buat menyediakan uang dengan jumlah tertentu. Pernahkah anda mengalami hal itu?
Saat itu sehabis pesta pernikahan usai, kedua mempelai segera turun menurut pelaminan dan bergegas menanggalkan sandang norma yg dikenakannya, walaupun terdapat beberapa tamu yang masih duduk-duduk kalem di sekitar aula, tetap tak dihiraukannya pula.
Sampai di sebuah ruangan, sepasang pengantin itu langsung membuka kotak-kotak dan mengelurkan amplop di dalamnya.
Hati mereka berdebar-debar bukan lantaran ketegangan malam pengantin tapi lantaran hutang-hutang yg segera wajib dilunasi misalnya porto wardrobe dan dekorasi, catering(katering),
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pelunasan sewa gedung dan biaya lainnya.
Mereka berdua sangat berfokus menghitung. Si wanita bertugas membuka amplop-amplop sembari sekali waktu menggerutu & mendengus kesal lantaran amplop yg dibuka beberapa tidak berisi uang bahkan diisi dengan permen dan gambar.
Sedangkan si laki-laki terus berhitung dan merapikan lembar demi lembar uang yg pula terselip recehan ribuan.
Mereka mengagungkan momen pesta pernikahan dengan seindah mungkin, sesempurna bahkan harus sinkron & persis menggunakan pernikahan yg diimpikan.
Sepasang pengantin bak raja & ratu pada pelaminan walaupun hanya sehari. Apa itu keliru? Setiap kita mempunyai jawaban berbeda. Apabila ia memang bisa nir terdapat salahnya.
Tentu, itu pulang kepada niat masing-masing kita lantaran setiap orang hanyalah mendapatkan sesuai menggunakan apa yang beliau niatkan. Di sisi lain, jua tidak menyalahi syari`at.
Pada dasarnya, kita menikah menggunakan banyak sekali tujuan seperti: mengindari zina, menjaga diri, menjalankan sunnah dan lain sebagainya.
Yang kentara tujuannya wajib karena Allah SWT pada membangun famili sakinah, mawaddah, warahmah(QS. Ar-Rum[30]: 21) dan menjaga itu seluruh agar nir tercemar sang nilai-nilai gengsi, tuntutan gaya hayati, ria` hingga tidak melukai saudara-saudara kita yang tak kunjung menikah lantaran terhalang biaya , lantas hatinya teriris lantaran melihat pernikahan glamor nan meriah saudaranya. Sudahkah kita higienis menurut itu semua?
Bagi mereka yang mampu tidak terdapat yg sulit buat itu semua; menggunakan WO ternama, gedung dengan porto sewa puluhan hingga ratus juta rupiah, bahkan hingga pesta perhelatan yg digelar bermalam-malam pun nir ada perkara bagi mereka.
Tetapi imbasnya sangat mengena ke mereka-mereka yang ingin menikah tetapi oleh calon mertua tak ingin anaknya dinikahi menggunakan pesta ala kadarnya maka jalan akhirnya bela-belain ngutang! Balik lagi ke contoh perkara pada atas & masih banyak kisah lainnya yang lebih tidak manusiawi terjadi di warga kita.
Lain lagi menggunakan kebanyakan berdasarkan kita yg sebelum tiba ke hajatan atau pesta orang lain terlebih dahulu melihat daftar catatan ‘hutang’.
Maksudnya: “Sewaktu hajatan kita kemarin orang ini amplopin berapa?” & itulah yang akan kita kembalikan sinkron dengan apa yang sudah kita terima & sejumlah itulah yang kita kembalikan.
Seperti itulah yg terjadi pada warga kita, pernikahan atau hajatan lainnya merupakan wadah transaksi di mana terdapat yg wajib dibayar & dikembalikan.
Jadi, lumrah jika acara pernikahan acap kali menuntut output yang setimpal buat melunasi hutang yang dipakai menjadi biaya pernikahan.
Jika kenyataan yang dibutuhkan tidak sesuai, maka hanya kekecewaan yang akan menderanya. Inilah yg sebagai bertentangan dengan harapan di kembali resepsi pernikahan sebagaimana cerita pada atas.
Supaya tidak terjadi demikian,–sebagai epilog- kita perlu meneladani petunjuk Islam pada menghelat resepsi pernikahan.
Pertama, tidak boleh memaksakan diri jika memang nir sanggup. Yang menjadi biang kasus kebanyakan orang ialah acapkali kali –atas nama gengsi- memaksakan diri menuruti keinginan eksklusif, tanpa melihat kemampuan diri.
Dalam buku Syu`abu al-Iman karya Imam Baihaqi menyebut riwayat Salman:
لَا يَتَكَلَّفَنَّ أَحَدٌ لِلضَّيْفِ مَا لَا يَقْدِرُ عَلَيْهِ
Intinya, kita tidak boleh memaksakan diri buat menjamu seseorang menggunakan sesuatu yang tidak kita miliki, sehingga malah menyusahkan diri.
Masalah tersebut bermula ketika orang tua memaksa diri berhutang demi menyelenggarakan resepsi pernikahan. Akhirnya, yang diraih malah kesusahan.
Kedua, hendaknya para orang tua mempermudah proses pernikahan anak, bukan malah mempersulitnya apabila memang telah cocok dan bagus agamanya.
Nabi sendiri pernah menikahkah orang dengan hanya bermahar cincin besi, bahkan ada yang bermahar beberapa hafalan ayat al-Qur`an. Ini berarti, nabi menganjurkan buat mempermudah jalan pernikahan, sinkron dengan kemampuan.
Dalam al-Qur`an pun, kita mampu melihat bagaimana Nabi Syua`ib tidak mau mempersulit Nabi Musa saat hendak menikahkannya dengan putrinya:
وَمَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَشُقَّ عَلَيْكَ [القصص: 27]
“Maka aku tidak hendak memberati kamu.” (QS. Al-Qoshoh [28]: 26). Namun, ini seluruh bukan berarti, terlalu menggampangkan pernikahan sebagai akibatnya ala kadarnya padahal sejatinya bisa lebih dari itu, karena nabi sendiri pula pernah mencontohkan memberi mahar layak dan pula menghelat “resepsi” pernikahan.
Wallahu a`lam.
Sumber: islamkafah.Com
Mereka berdua sangat berfokus menghitung. Si wanita bertugas membuka amplop-amplop sembari sekali waktu menggerutu & mendengus kesal lantaran amplop yg dibuka beberapa tidak berisi uang bahkan diisi dengan permen dan gambar.
Sedangkan si laki-laki terus berhitung dan merapikan lembar demi lembar uang yg pula terselip recehan ribuan.
Mereka mengagungkan momen pesta pernikahan dengan seindah mungkin, sesempurna bahkan harus sinkron & persis menggunakan pernikahan yg diimpikan.
Sepasang pengantin bak raja & ratu pada pelaminan walaupun hanya sehari. Apa itu keliru? Setiap kita mempunyai jawaban berbeda. Apabila ia memang bisa nir terdapat salahnya.
Tentu, itu pulang kepada niat masing-masing kita lantaran setiap orang hanyalah mendapatkan sesuai menggunakan apa yang beliau niatkan. Di sisi lain, jua tidak menyalahi syari`at.
Pada dasarnya, kita menikah menggunakan banyak sekali tujuan seperti: mengindari zina, menjaga diri, menjalankan sunnah dan lain sebagainya.
Yang kentara tujuannya wajib karena Allah SWT pada membangun famili sakinah, mawaddah, warahmah(QS. Ar-Rum[30]: 21) dan menjaga itu seluruh agar nir tercemar sang nilai-nilai gengsi, tuntutan gaya hayati, ria` hingga tidak melukai saudara-saudara kita yang tak kunjung menikah lantaran terhalang biaya , lantas hatinya teriris lantaran melihat pernikahan glamor nan meriah saudaranya. Sudahkah kita higienis menurut itu semua?
Bagi mereka yang mampu tidak terdapat yg sulit buat itu semua; menggunakan WO ternama, gedung dengan porto sewa puluhan hingga ratus juta rupiah, bahkan hingga pesta perhelatan yg digelar bermalam-malam pun nir ada perkara bagi mereka.
Tetapi imbasnya sangat mengena ke mereka-mereka yang ingin menikah tetapi oleh calon mertua tak ingin anaknya dinikahi menggunakan pesta ala kadarnya maka jalan akhirnya bela-belain ngutang! Balik lagi ke contoh perkara pada atas & masih banyak kisah lainnya yang lebih tidak manusiawi terjadi di warga kita.
Lain lagi menggunakan kebanyakan berdasarkan kita yg sebelum tiba ke hajatan atau pesta orang lain terlebih dahulu melihat daftar catatan ‘hutang’.
Maksudnya: “Sewaktu hajatan kita kemarin orang ini amplopin berapa?” & itulah yang akan kita kembalikan sinkron dengan apa yang sudah kita terima & sejumlah itulah yang kita kembalikan.
Seperti itulah yg terjadi pada warga kita, pernikahan atau hajatan lainnya merupakan wadah transaksi di mana terdapat yg wajib dibayar & dikembalikan.
Jadi, lumrah jika acara pernikahan acap kali menuntut output yang setimpal buat melunasi hutang yang dipakai menjadi biaya pernikahan.
Jika kenyataan yang dibutuhkan tidak sesuai, maka hanya kekecewaan yang akan menderanya. Inilah yg sebagai bertentangan dengan harapan di kembali resepsi pernikahan sebagaimana cerita pada atas.
Supaya tidak terjadi demikian,–sebagai epilog- kita perlu meneladani petunjuk Islam pada menghelat resepsi pernikahan.
Pertama, tidak boleh memaksakan diri jika memang nir sanggup. Yang menjadi biang kasus kebanyakan orang ialah acapkali kali –atas nama gengsi- memaksakan diri menuruti keinginan eksklusif, tanpa melihat kemampuan diri.
Dalam buku Syu`abu al-Iman karya Imam Baihaqi menyebut riwayat Salman:
لَا يَتَكَلَّفَنَّ أَحَدٌ لِلضَّيْفِ مَا لَا يَقْدِرُ عَلَيْهِ
Intinya, kita tidak boleh memaksakan diri buat menjamu seseorang menggunakan sesuatu yang tidak kita miliki, sehingga malah menyusahkan diri.
Masalah tersebut bermula ketika orang tua memaksa diri berhutang demi menyelenggarakan resepsi pernikahan. Akhirnya, yang diraih malah kesusahan.
Kedua, hendaknya para orang tua mempermudah proses pernikahan anak, bukan malah mempersulitnya apabila memang telah cocok dan bagus agamanya.
Nabi sendiri pernah menikahkah orang dengan hanya bermahar cincin besi, bahkan ada yang bermahar beberapa hafalan ayat al-Qur`an. Ini berarti, nabi menganjurkan buat mempermudah jalan pernikahan, sinkron dengan kemampuan.
Dalam al-Qur`an pun, kita mampu melihat bagaimana Nabi Syua`ib tidak mau mempersulit Nabi Musa saat hendak menikahkannya dengan putrinya:
وَمَا أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَشُقَّ عَلَيْكَ [القصص: 27]
“Maka aku tidak hendak memberati kamu.” (QS. Al-Qoshoh [28]: 26). Namun, ini seluruh bukan berarti, terlalu menggampangkan pernikahan sebagai akibatnya ala kadarnya padahal sejatinya bisa lebih dari itu, karena nabi sendiri pula pernah mencontohkan memberi mahar layak dan pula menghelat “resepsi” pernikahan.
Wallahu a`lam.
Sumber: islamkafah.Com
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